So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
