weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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