The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
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