4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
