It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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