explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
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