Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
