And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
