Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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