I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
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