He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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