i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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