her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
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