One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
