my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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