I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Randomize
