I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
