We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
