You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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