Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Semen is not good for contacts.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
