and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
