before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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