I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
