Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
