I wish I could punch you in the face.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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