the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
