Please, let me fuck your mom
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Bring me that man meat
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
