I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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