RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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