R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
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