I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
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