First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
