Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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