I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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