But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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