dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
He's on the porch naked. Help.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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