who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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