my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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