whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
