Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
