Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
