Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
