i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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