YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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