I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
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