that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
