So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Randomize
