Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
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