i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Randomize
