Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
