Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
