Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
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